MISTER 69

In many of the BOP's facilities, it's my understanding that inmate/officer interaction is cold and adversarial. But in recent years, cooler heads have prevailed and a "give respect get respect" policy has been implemented to cut down on the mutual enmity that naturally comes from officers bullying inmates. I'm happy to report that the new ethos was in full effect where I served my year. At MCC, there was barely an officer who didn't subscribe to give respect/get respect.

As such, an officer I'll call Miss Jones, was respectful of her charges (the inmates who worked for her in the kitchen). She was tough but fair. If you did your work, she respected you. If you didn't, she had something to say.

So one day, Miss Jones started to lay into some slacker who'd never done a decent day's work in his life (and wasn't about to start while in prison) for being exactly what he was - a lazy piece of crap. To which he responded "You can't talk to me that way, I'm a 34 year old man."

Miss Jones wasn't having it. She came back with "Ok! I'll call you Mr. 34!" And then she turned to his equally lazy homey (whose age she knew) and went on "And I'll call you Mr. 43!" I was but a few feet away sweeping the floor - well within earshot of this verbal intercourse - and just couldn't resist.

"Well, Miss Jones. I guess that makes me Mr. 69!" Now Miss Jones might have been a CO - but she was a woman, too! And trust me, every inmate had sneaked at least one (probably several glances) at her sumptuously phat booty. There was a snicker and then a pregnant silence after my declaration. No commentary followed. Just too explosive for the moment.

The next day, Miss Jones and I were alone (I can't remember why) in the sallyport waiting for the elevator, when she leaned in with a twinkle in her eye and asked "So Mr. 69! How's it going today?" I was taken aback and gave her a look which I hope conveyed "Really, Miss Jones! You fuck with white boys like that?"

In fact, Miss Jones was a black woman labeled as racist by the inmates. She really preferred to have black inmates down in the kitchen - or so it was rumored. And while there might have been some truth to her reputation, I found her to be a woman with integrity and heart. She would even buy (out of her own pocket) and bring seasoning for the food we inmates cooked to bring upstairs after our shift.

Upon hearing this, I went to the bubble and asked if she really went out of her way to accommodate us in the manner I'd heard. Her answer was in the affirmative and that she cared about her job. "I see you in a whole new light, Miss Jones. Anytime you need anything, just let me know. I gotcha!" One good turn deserves another, right? 

Don't ever let anybody tell you that all CO's are bad. Some inmates hated them regardless just because they were cops. But for me, there were times I found them to be my salvation. Maybe that's just because I'm not really a criminal and most of them, recognizing that reality, treated me with respect. I hope they would show everybody that respect. It would go a long way toward improving the prison system in general.