Tuesday, June 30, 2020

FLYING SOLO

I don't just live alone (and have for a very long time). I do a lot of things by myself that most other people don't. For example, I almost always go on bicycle excursions and hikes without a companion. Mind you, I'm not self-conscious about this. It's just that I like to do everything off peak. And that means that most of the few people who might be receptive to joining up with me aren't available. So just by chance, I actually pursued two of these activities with a partner recently and found that the results left a little to be desired.

Saturday, June 27, 2020

THE SECOND COMING OF HARVEY WEINSTEIN (AND DONALD TRUMP)

The comments on Yahoo News were too funny. "There will be some hard evidence in this case." The evidence will be piled 9" high." "His female lawyer promises to get him off." If you haven't heard, the Me Too Movement is about to take down another masher. This one is Ronald Jeremy Hyatt, known to the world as Ron Jeremy, a guy voted #1 porn star of all time by Adult Video News, which as the title implies, just might be an authority on these hard news (couldn't resist) matters.

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

JUST SAY NO TO BMO HARRIS

OMG! If there was ever a bank you don't want to go near, BMO Harris wins the gold medal. What a total rat fuck. I am so relieved today to know that my money is back at HSBC.

As I'm sure I've mentioned earlier, I am in the stock market - a fact of life which does not make me comfortable. It wasn't really my idea. Once my portion of the seized money came back from the IRS, I vowed to put it all in 5 year CD's at banks. That would earn me more than I live on without eating into the principal. 

Saturday, June 20, 2020

FUCKING INMATES

"Fucking" the verb - not the adjective. And I mean literally fucking - as in having sex with an inmate. 

I live in an apartment building which features an elevator, laundry in the basement, and 40 studio units. Considered temporary housing (by yours truly) when I first rented the place after coming off a year on the road with a no-name band, I somehow find myself living in the same 225 square feet 46 years later!

Monday, June 8, 2020

THE $64 QUESTION

With several recent documentaries on the subject of Jeffrey Epstein, I find myself once again answering a barrage of questions about the inmate with whom I spent several hours while working the suicide watch during the year I was imprisoned at MCC federal prison. And I'm reminded of an observation I made about Jeffrey Epstein while serving my yearlong sentence at the facility.

Sunday, June 7, 2020

ACAPULCO GOLD

No, not the stuff you smoke. I'm talking about the Mexican guys who worked the dishwashing machine at MCC federal prison. I don't know exactly why (though I have my suspicions) our south of the border brothers drew the short straw for long duty in a hot kitchen's hottest area. I wasn't one of the dishwashers. But because I'm semi-fluent in Spanish, liked the dishwashers better than the other guys, and wanted access to the officers' mess food leftovers (which the dishwashers commandeered), I joined in and helped with the dishwashing duties.

Monday, June 1, 2020

HANGIN' UP (Suicide Watch)

The following is a chapter from my upcoming (and as yet unsigned) book "Lifestyles of the Rich and Infamous (My Year At MCC Federal Prison).

EXCERPT...So Jeffrey,” I baited my buddy after sitting down to watch the infamous pedophile for the next 4 hours. “Give me one anecdote that’s emblematic of Donald Trump’s essence.” I don’t know if it was the subject matter, his mood, or how I phrased the question that got him going. But Jeffrey was off and running.

“I got it,” he exclaimed enthusiastically. “Donald and I are on my private plane…flying from New York to Miami. And I have a French girl with me. Donald suggests we land in Atlantic City so we can show her his casino. I answer ’There’s no way we’re landing in AC. There’s nothing but white trash down there.’ The girl asks in her French accent ‘What is white trash. I don’t understand.’ And Trump chimes in ‘It’s me without money.’”

Unsolicited, he went into another anecdote. This one about Bill Clinton. “So Bill and I are walking down the street in Shanghai when a beautiful Chinese girl walks by. Bill turns to me and says...