Saturday, September 19, 2020

TRUCK DRIVIN' BILL


No, I never actually drove a truck (I don't have the license and wouldn't even know how) but there was one point in my life when I found myself wondering whether I was a truck driver or musician.

The occasion for this narrative dates back many years to when I was a "Starlighter" accompanying Joey Dee, a 60's phenomenon who capitalized on the twist craze with a hit tune titled "The Peppermint Twist." The record rated #11 for 1961 on the Billboard year end pop chart...and combined with "Shout" (a lesser hit as a follow up), Joe was poised to work the oldies circuit for the rest of his life! And for six months (until I quit), I got caught up in the madness.

Thursday, September 10, 2020

EPSTEIN VS. MANAFORT

More than a year has passed since my concurrent friendships with Paul Manafort and Jeffrey Epstein were cultivated at MCC federal prison where I served 311 days for tax fraud and surreally found myself with Paulie as my celly, and Jeffrey as a suicidal inmate I watched and spent hours of one on one time part in parcel of my position as inmate companion coordinator. Notwithstanding the passage of time, both continue to be front and center in today's news.

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

TRUMP VS. CLINTON

Unlike most of America who I assume reveled in their paid day off, I did not party on Labor Day. Volunteering at the Meatloaf Kitchen Saturday and taking a long bike ride on Sunday was enough activity for me. I spent most of Monday binge-watching a Vice channel marathon on "The Clinton Affair," and reading a book on the same subject I found in the laundry room of my building recently while washing my clothes.

Sunday, September 6, 2020

BILLIONAIRE LIARS CLUB

Just over a year ago while I was lying in my bunk at MCC federal prison, I asked my celly Paul Manafort if there was any collusion with the Russians. Generally, I didn't get political with Paulie as I figured a) the last thing he wanted to do was talk politics with an inmate and b) I didn't want to start a feud with a felon with whom I shared 70 square feet.

Saturday, September 5, 2020

HE SAW IT COMING

After pleading to tax fraud and promotion of prostitution (the second charge was questionable while the first was undeniable), and going to prison for a year, I find a hole in my life left without all the associations and friendships of practitioners in the escort industry I used to enjoy (or suffer depending on the day).Whether or not that's a good thing is irrelevant to the following.

Saturday, August 29, 2020

THE CONVENTIONS

Now that the conventions (the political ones) are over, I might as well weigh in with my opinion on those pitiful showcases of democracy in action. I've never heard so much name-calling and bull shit in my life. Fortunately, I didn't watch a whole lot of either one (just enough to be nauseated) because I know what they are: attacks on the other party's candidates and programs. Who cares? And who knows what's really going to work for the country and what isn't?

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

OH BOY MR. DEJOY

Do you think Attorney General William Barr is familiar with the content of the first amendment of the constitution? I'm wondering upon discovery that the Trump-appointed Postmaster General of the United States doesn't know how much it costs to mail a post card. I'm not surprised given that the President thinks Trinidad and Tobago are two different countries, that Thailand is pronounced Thighland, and Yosemite is pronounced Yozamight. Exactly who is it that drinks Trump's brand of Kool-aid?

Monday, August 24, 2020

A LITTLE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM/A VICTIM OF COVID

Up until just a few days ago, I'm one of the few people who realized a profit from the covid disaster (if you discount my stock market losses). I got a job (albeit not a very good one - and not one I wanted) as a direct result of the pandemic.

BILL CLINTON: WOMANIZER? YES. PEDOPHILE? NO WAY.

Jeffrey Epstein might be dead. But his legacy and legend live on. Which is not good news for Bill Clinton. We're all well aware that our ex-prez was a significant womanizer. I don't think there's a lot of debate on that issue. But while Clinton's sex life is behind him (according to a statement Jeffrey Epstein made to me while I suicide-watched him at MCC federal prison), that moribund existence lives on as part of Epstein's legacy.

Sunday, August 23, 2020

SEEING MY GRANDMA IN ME

We all know about genetics - and how they in great part, determine who we are. Take my maternal grandmother for example. She had to be the cheapest person on earth. I'm a close second. But this post isn't about being cheap - necessarily. 

Saturday, August 22, 2020

SWEET VICTORY/BITTER DEFEAT

Before surrendering to prison, I did a fair amount of hiking in the Hudson Valley. At least twice a month between March and November, I'd take a day trip north and climb a mountain. Then came a year of inactivity in prison followed by a Covid winter/spring and a fully employed spring/summer. The bottom line is I've mountain-climbed twice in the past two years. I also don't ride my bicycle near as much as I used to. 

Friday, August 14, 2020

THE DIFFERENCE MAKER

By rights, I shouldn't like KAMALA HARRIS. She locked up a friend of mine in a shitty county jail and called him a pimp. Two weeks later, a judge freed Carl, not convinced that the charges were warranted. 

Carl was first and foremost a businessman. Backpage was his baby. He wanted to be the new Craigslist, and hoped to generate a fortune with help wanted and real estate ads as Craig had. It just didn't happen. And Carl was left with a division of flatbackers to float his financial boat. I met with Carl on two occasions (he was from Phoenix and I'm in New York) but talked with him one on one about as much as I did Jeffrey Epstein. Carl was no criminal. Like me, he saw an opportunity in a penumbral business and seized it. Poor decision for both of us.

Sunday, August 9, 2020

I USED TO HATE FLORIDA

I don't like hot weather. I don't like beaches. And I don't like flat terrain. For these three reasons I've never considered moving to Florida even though the state assesses no state income tax on its residents. Just not enough of an incentive - until I came upon this image. Now I'm reconsidering. You can see why!




Wednesday, August 5, 2020

A TENDER MOMENT (MY BIO)

Yesterday at work, the boss descended from his office to tell all the slaves that today we'll be doing a photo shoot pursuant to his social media drive which will hopefully attract more funds to our (the church's) program. He'll be posting and/or emailing our pictures in support of that effort. Boss man also wanted each employee to write a short (very short - like 25 word) bio. 

Saturday, August 1, 2020

INSIGHT GAINED

A few days ago, I mentioned researching some old inmates' criminal histories and what I learned from that pursuit. But I was so fixated on the feds creating a pedophile rather than catching one, I neglected to mention some other insight I gained during the process. 

Thursday, July 30, 2020

PAULIE'S UNDERWEAR

I was halfway through "The Pelican Brief" (the book - not the movie) when a quick passage tickled my funny bone. The President and one of his subordinates are considering their options regarding nominations for two vacant supreme court justice positions when the henchman reports "the FBI has checked his underwear and he's very clean."

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

THE PARIAH OF MCC

Unknown to many people who've never served time behind bars is the harsh reality that sex offenders - and particularly child molesters - are the most hated guys in prison. You'd think that murderers or muggers would head the list. But consider who's doing the judging and it begins to make sense.

Sunday, July 26, 2020

TAX TIME BLUES

I don't know who (or which) is more inept. My accountant - or the IRS. I sent the former all my tax information in early March of this year. For whatever reason (certainly not at my direction), he filed my taxes on July 13th, 4 months after I'd sent him what he needed. When he finally did, the IRS website was suffering a traffic jam. As a result, I received an email from him when I arrived home from work on the 13th, instructing me to file my taxes old school - via the US mail!

Saturday, July 18, 2020

THE TRUTH - THE WHOLE TRUTH - AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

The very first day after coming out of prison, I called a friend/influential guy in the music business to announce my freedom. When I told him all about bunking with Paul Manafort and suicide watching Jeffrey Epstein, he fairly exploded that I had a story worth six figures - and that I should go to the Daily Mail or Enquirer to cash in. 

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

BLOWING HIS OWN HORN

I have an old friend who might be the least intelligent person I've ever counted among that exclusive club. We used to drive a cab from the same garage and have kept in touch for what is now over 30 years. It's a "for better or worse" bond I formed a long time ago.

Just a few days back, he was singing the praises of Tucker Carlson while telling me that Joe Biden will ruin the country if elected (as if Trump hasn't already done that) and requested I listen to Sean Hannity's upcoming interview with the president. It wasn't as if I didn't know what I'd hear - but I obliged anyway.