Saturday, August 1, 2020

INSIGHT GAINED

A few days ago, I mentioned researching some old inmates' criminal histories and what I learned from that pursuit. But I was so fixated on the feds creating a pedophile rather than catching one, I neglected to mention some other insight I gained during the process. 

Thursday, July 30, 2020

PAULIE'S UNDERWEAR

I was halfway through "The Pelican Brief" (the book - not the movie) when a quick passage tickled my funny bone. The President and one of his subordinates are considering their options regarding nominations for two vacant supreme court justice positions when the henchman reports "the FBI has checked his underwear and he's very clean."

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

THE PARIAH OF MCC

Unknown to many people who've never served time behind bars is the harsh reality that sex offenders - and particularly child molesters - are the most hated guys in prison. You'd think that murderers or muggers would head the list. But consider who's doing the judging and it begins to make sense.

Sunday, July 26, 2020

TAX TIME BLUES

I don't know who (or which) is more inept. My accountant - or the IRS. I sent the former all my tax information in early March of this year. For whatever reason (certainly not at my direction), he filed my taxes on July 13th, 4 months after I'd sent him what he needed. When he finally did, the IRS website was suffering a traffic jam. As a result, I received an email from him when I arrived home from work on the 13th, instructing me to file my taxes old school - via the US mail!

Saturday, July 18, 2020

THE TRUTH - THE WHOLE TRUTH - AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

The very first day after coming out of prison, I called a friend/influential guy in the music business to announce my freedom. When I told him all about bunking with Paul Manafort and suicide watching Jeffrey Epstein, he fairly exploded that I had a story worth six figures - and that I should go to the Daily Mail or Enquirer to cash in. 

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

BLOWING HIS OWN HORN

I have an old friend who might be the least intelligent person I've ever counted among that exclusive club. We used to drive a cab from the same garage and have kept in touch for what is now over 30 years. It's a "for better or worse" bond I formed a long time ago.

Just a few days back, he was singing the praises of Tucker Carlson while telling me that Joe Biden will ruin the country if elected (as if Trump hasn't already done that) and requested I listen to Sean Hannity's upcoming interview with the president. It wasn't as if I didn't know what I'd hear - but I obliged anyway.

Monday, July 13, 2020

SHAWSHANK

I can't even count how many times I've seen all or pieces of the movie Shawshank Redemption. I can tell you that the first time I saw the film I hadn't as yet earned my first dollar selling ads to hookers - and was decades away from going to prison.

Sunday, July 12, 2020

SELF INTEREST OR THE GREATER GOOD

Front and center on congress's to do list is the decision concerning whether to extend the absurdly high unemployment benefits the fed is currently adding to state benefits as part of the CARES Act. When it comes to this issue, I lean toward the Republican point of view.

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS MY ASS!

While I never objected to the federal government prosecuting me for tax fraud (because that was exactly my crime), there was a laundry list of ways they managed to offend me during the 5 + years I spent being preyed upon by prosecutors and the system.

Today, I'm only going to describe one manner in which I felt wounded by the government as I'm sure listing all would hold the attention of very few readers (y'all have things to do and lives to lead).

Sunday, July 5, 2020

REHABILITATION, RECIDIVISM AND THE GRAND TOUR

In theory, prisons should perform the dual function of rehabilitating and deterring its convicts from becoming repeat offenders. Inmates would be trained with a skill to make an honest living once they get out. And prison life made uncomfortable enough to leave those subjected to it in search of a better way.

Saturday, July 4, 2020

THE BIG IDEA

Once upon a time, an escort client needed new photos and posed the following question: "Billy! Are you a photographer - or do you just take pictures?" My answer was equally challenging. "I'm not really a photographer. But that doesn't mean I can't get a money-making shot a photographer will miss if I take your photos."

Friday, July 3, 2020

STATE FUMBLE

The New York State initiative which essentially sealed my fate and sent me to prison for almost a year, was an amazingly expensive, fruitless, botched and hypocritical pursuit. Allow me to elaborate on each adjective in order.

Thursday, July 2, 2020

A BROKEN SYSTEM

I got up this morning at 3:30AM and decided to a) pay my rent...and b) fill out my federal probation report. Predictably, I was done with Clickpay (a private company) and my rent was paid in under one minute. But the probation report? Ah! The federal government. Never a dull or unfrustrating moment.

Wednesday, July 1, 2020

GOOD MONEY

While the people I deal with at Trinity Church (the "clients") are essentially the homeless, working poor, or sponging-off-the-system poor, it's not a given that they're criminals and/or ex-cons as well. But considering that the USA has 5% of the world's population but 25% of its incarcerated population, ya gotta figure there will have to be some jailbirds thrown into the mix.

Tuesday, June 30, 2020

FLYING SOLO

I don't just live alone (and have for a very long time). I do a lot of things by myself that most other people don't. For example, I almost always go on bicycle excursions and hikes without a companion. Mind you, I'm not self-conscious about this. It's just that I like to do everything off peak. And that means that most of the few people who might be receptive to joining up with me aren't available. So just by chance, I actually pursued two of these activities with a partner recently and found that the results left a little to be desired.

Saturday, June 27, 2020

THE SECOND COMING OF HARVEY WEINSTEIN (AND DONALD TRUMP)

The comments on Yahoo News were too funny. "There will be some hard evidence in this case." The evidence will be piled 9" high." "His female lawyer promises to get him off." If you haven't heard, the Me Too Movement is about to take down another masher. This one is Ronald Jeremy Hyatt, known to the world as Ron Jeremy, a guy voted #1 porn star of all time by Adult Video News, which as the title implies, just might be an authority on these hard news (couldn't resist) matters.

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

JUST SAY NO TO BMO HARRIS

OMG! If there was ever a bank you don't want to go near, BMO Harris wins the gold medal. What a total rat fuck. I am so relieved today to know that my money is back at HSBC.

As I'm sure I've mentioned earlier, I am in the stock market - a fact of life which does not make me comfortable. It wasn't really my idea. Once my portion of the seized money came back from the IRS, I vowed to put it all in 5 year CD's at banks. That would earn me more than I live on without eating into the principal. 

Saturday, June 20, 2020

FUCKING INMATES

"Fucking" the verb - not the adjective. And I mean literally fucking - as in having sex with an inmate. 

I live in an apartment building which features an elevator, laundry in the basement, and 40 studio units. Considered temporary housing (by yours truly) when I first rented the place after coming off a year on the road with a no-name band, I somehow find myself living in the same 225 square feet 46 years later!

Monday, June 8, 2020

THE $64 QUESTION

With several recent documentaries on the subject of Jeffrey Epstein, I find myself once again answering a barrage of questions about the inmate with whom I spent several hours while working the suicide watch during the year I was imprisoned at MCC federal prison. And I'm reminded of an observation I made about Jeffrey Epstein while serving my yearlong sentence at the facility.

Sunday, June 7, 2020

ACAPULCO GOLD

No, not the stuff you smoke. I'm talking about the Mexican guys who worked the dishwashing machine at MCC federal prison. I don't know exactly why (though I have my suspicions) our south of the border brothers drew the short straw for long duty in a hot kitchen's hottest area. I wasn't one of the dishwashers. But because I'm semi-fluent in Spanish, liked the dishwashers better than the other guys, and wanted access to the officers' mess food leftovers (which the dishwashers commandeered), I joined in and helped with the dishwashing duties.