I'm always looking for a silver lining in a storm cloud. Ya know...like monetizing my stay in prison by writing and doing numerous interviews about Jeffrey Epstein? And I've found one in the covid pandemic.
Back in my lockdown days (I'm talkin' real lockdown - not this bull shit everybody's so freaked out about), prisoners were stuck in a 60 square foot cell (with a bunky) and fed what the officers used to call "bag nasties" (because they came in a bag for one thing. And they were nasty for another).
Lunch would be a bologna and fake cheese sandwich with pretzels for dessert. If you were lucky, a bag of chips might arrive for dinner which would once again feature (drum roll) a bologna and fake cheese sandwich as the entree.
Now back to the silver lining thing. The school at 11th Street and First Avenue gives anybody who wants them city-sponsored bag nasties in response to the economic hardship caused by the lockdown. And you know who gets up every morning, leaves his cell (my apartment), and scores those bag nasties.
Gourmet cuisine they are not. But they are somewhat better than what's offered in prison. I got a nice blueberry cake yesterday. Plus there's usually a prison-style individual cereal joint - and a container of prison-like milk. And finally, the woman who gives out the food is very friendly and has a big soft chest (I'm guessing on the soft part). So why the fuck not? I ain't proud like that.
Speaking of free food - most of which I get at the church where I've been volunteering - guess what happened. They offered me a job for 3 months at $20/hour 35 hours per week doing exactly what I've been doing for nothing. Their problem is that owing to the lockdown, the church staff is only allowing me and one other volunteer to enter the premises. And given that we've been loyal and responsible during the pandemic, it looks like we have the two available jobs if we want them.
It's really not a bad deal. The church is a 5 minute walk from my door. The staff is either very gay - or very boricua. And I get along with everybody - so no problem there. There are just two issues: First, I don't need the money. And I know there are plenty of people who do. And second, I have to get up at 7 AM. Which I do anyway.
Moving on...pursuant to the upcoming May 31st Discovery ID Jeffrey Epstein special in which I play a significant role, I had the privilege of doing an interview with Cindy Adams yesterday. She'll be writing about the show (and me presumably) in Monday's NY Post.
More important, Cindy wanted to know "So when are you writing your book?" after hearing stories about Epstein and Manafort and discovering that I actually have been published in the Daily Beast, Daily News, Daily Mail, Village Voice and NY Times (not to mention Screw, Juggs, Leg Scene, Voluptuous, Score, Gent, Gallery, Oui and a host of other venerable publications featuring photos of naked girls).
So I of course forwarded a chapter or two with the request that if she liked them, Cindy might turn me on to an agent or publisher. So far the silence is deafening. But it's only been a day since I emailed the materials. So it's too early to face the inevitable.
In the meantime, I'm still waiting on my stimulus check - and my MCC commissary money. (Ya fuckin' believe this shit?") But three corporations who've been owing me payments for months have all acknowledged their debt and promise the money will be forthcoming. And I'm all paid up with the Beast and News to date.
And finally, musical inspiration struck this week. So here goes with a Dire Straits meets Nashville Garageband track. Actually, this track is really good. But I fucked up the nail on my right index finger playing the frenetic bass part - which made playing the guitar solo challenging as I had to play it with the wrong fingers. Enjoy.
https://soundcloud.com/user-873040605/hillbilly-stank-5720-834-am
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